tongue and teeth

I think my hormones are actually getting back to normal since I stopped using the NuvaRing. It’s amazing how active my libido has been lately. Of course, now I’m trusting only in tissue-thin rubber to keep me childless each time I have sex. A one in one hundred chance is still more than I’m comfortable taking, considering what’s at stake. Though the odds are probably more in my favor than that, as my only current penetrative sex partner is probably pretty well chemically castrated by now.

But back to that increased libido thing… Derek was over on Monday night, for the first time in almost a month. I wanted to throw him down and fuck him so very much. Well, not really, because what I want to do (or not do, actually) is troublingly at odds with the role I want to have. I need to figure out how to maintain the feeling of power and control and all that while laying on my back with my knees up to my ears. And how to be touched without being felt or seen, because fuck-it-all but I still have some issues with my body when it comes to being touched or looked at by someone who hasn’t expressed an obvious, ardent interest in it.

So, instead of having Derek shag my brains out, I tied him up. I think I’m falling into a bit of a routine with him, unfortunately. I do that with MJ too - our sex follows almost the same pattern every time. But anyhoo. Derek bought an exceptionally long rope, and I used it Monday to put him in a full body “cage” sort of thing, which turned out to be much easier than one would think. Not the most versatile tie-up, though it did leave his dangly bits nicely accessible.

And I have to say, again: God, I love giving head. That is my happy place, where nothing exists except the fantasticly erotic, delicious, teasing torment being delivered by my tongue and lips. It’s pure pleasure, literally a sex lollipop, except with the candy kind I always get impatient and bite them. Of course, I just remembered that I used a fair amount of teeth on Derek the other night, which I don’t think I’ve ever done before. He seemed to enjoy it though.

I’ve been really into biting lately. Feeling feral, and beastlike, and fierce. Every time I look at MJ, I want to sink my teeth into the soft, creamy flesh of her upper arm, or the side of her neck, or the freckled back of her shoulder. I want to bite her hard enough that I’ll see the dark flash of a bitemark when she strips her shirt off after work the next day. It’s not even a marking sort of thing though - I don’t want to claim ownership with it, necessarily. It’s more of a vampire without fangs kind of feeling. She doesn’t let me bite her very hard, sadly. My girl is definitely not into pain of any sort. Derek probably has a bruise or two though..

 

I want to taste it.

The sight (and textures, and taste..) of a hot boy with a lovely cock that’s erect just for me excites me in a way nothing else can. So vanilla of me, isn’t it?

Maymay wrote a blog post about blowjobs, and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

I’ve mentioned before that I love cock. I also have a bit of an oral fixation (probably one of the reasons I’m as fat as I am..) And I love making a guy crazy with pleasure, and having such intimate and pleasurable control of it. So of course, I love giving head. Other than being really well fucked, it might be my favorite thing to do.

Maymay brought up an interesting point about the power exchange aspects of blowjobs. Personally, I’ve really never thought of it as either a submissive or dominant act. It seems odd to me that some people think of it as strictly one or the other. It’s just another kind of sex - it is what you make of it. Getting fucked doesn’t make me submissive, and neither does going down on someone. It could be charged with that sort of energy, but for me it rarely is.

Like I said in Maymay’s comments, I think the times when I’ve felt the most dominant and sexy at the same time were during blowjobs.

Turning a partner on (and men get turned on so delightfully visibly, don’t they?), makes me feel sexy - desirable and hot and symbiotically aroused. Turning them on (with a flick of the tongue!) to the point of moaning and thrashing and begging (flushed face and hands clenching the bedsheets…) is a panty-drenching ego-trip that I’m happy to go on any day of the week. Using my mouth to do it just makes it that much better.

It’s such a fully sensual experience to use my mouth on a partner. I get to taste them, smell them, feel them with one of the body’s most sensitive organs, get a close-up view of the action, and use my hands at the same time. And you can’t get much closer to or more intimate with someone than having them inside your mouth, in your face, literally in your head. Not to mention there’s something powerfully hot about devouring someone like that.

I often feel very dominant when I’m giving head. It gives me an exquisite kind of control over my partner. Men always seem so helpless when they’re all overwhelmed by pleasure like that. When I have a man’s cock in my mouth, he is putty in my hands. And gods, do I ever love that.

And if I want to throw some real kink into it.. it is as easy and delightful to cause pain with my mouth as it is to give pleasure. CBT with tongue and teeth (and hands and fingernails… look ma, no toys!)… Seeing a boy on the edge, a mingling of fear and anticipation in his eyes, not knowing if the next sensation will be pleasure or pain.. so easy to go from soft tonguing to nipping teeth, an instantaneous and totally unpredictable transistion - hello mindfuck.

I suppose some would say all that could be true of any sex act. Blowjobs seem so much more powerfully evocative though, to me at least. There’s so much more I can do, and more minute control I can have over the effect with oral sex than handjobs or toys, etc. It’s like an erotic art form and delicious treat all wrapped up together.

 

Circumcision - geh!?

Circumcision boggles my mind. It’s straight-up mutilation - why do people do this to their children?? And themselves!? Why does America smile upon such a totally useless, medically ridiculous practice???

Transexual people have to jump through countless hoops and get approval from psychiatrists to get their genital surgery that essentially just rearranges things, but a guy who wants to have part of his (or his child’s! o_O) penis actually removed can just walk into a doctor’s office and have it done no problem. Wtf.

You see, I love cock. I probably love cock more than most gay men. And it breaks my heart that our society condones, nay encourages, the totally unnecessary removal of a functional and exquisitely sensitive body part. A natural cock is a marvel of divine engineering. And so damn fun to play with.

“For American society, circumcision is a solution in search of a problem, a social custom disguised as a medical issue. Beware of culturally-biased studies on circumcision posing as science, and take your whole baby home.” (http://www.circumcision.org/)