hotness - courtesy of Bitchy Jones

“I’m not stopping him from coming for his benefit but for mine. Only mine. My desire to see him suffer. To see his face twist as he fucks me, trying to keep his strokes hard and regular enough that I scream and screw up the sheets in my fists, without tipping himself over the edge.”

 

femininity = submission? fuck that. and fuck me, while you’re at it.

A well-phrased excerpt from BJ (emphases mine):

“One crucial thing was over looked in this race to elevate women to bossiness. To escape the oppressive tyranny of PIV sex and let women be in charge. They failed to notice that it wasn’t being penetrated itself that was submissive. It was just that all femininity was equated with submission - that everything a woman did in sex had been made to look as if it was a priori submissive.

But there is no way that such simple basics – being the hole or the plug – are on their own submissive or dominant. It only has further meaning in context.

Sometimes it feels like femdom is a big mirror. You hold it up to the world and you see all kinds of yukky beliefs reflected by and clear. Like that bit in the Snow Queen or something.
But that’s the fact. Way back in the past when they invented misogyny they decided that women were lower status and thus had the low status role in sex. He had the mighty phallus – she had the dirty needy hole. You can see how femdom later thought, hey, lets flip this shit. Let’s make the guy be called slut for wanting and be filled. But those things aren’t really submissive. Having something pushed into your body that feels amazing is only submissive because someone decided that the female role in sex was a submissive one.

You don’t need to put the guy on the bottom because he is the bottom. It misses the fucking point. Fucking. Which is the point. Which feels good. Which doesn’t have an innate power exchange embedded in it.

Really. It just doesn’t.”

 

more of Bitchy

{Just a little snippet that struck me. The emphasis is mine.}

“A lot of the nicest, sweetest, bestest things in femdomia are about just taking away enough of his power to flip things over. Just restricting him or degrading him *enough*.

“Not shitting on his face or encasing him entirely in an inflatable rubber sack (and my orgasm is, where, exactly?), but meeting him at the door with a kiss and a box into which the only clothes he brought with him are going to be locked until late Sunday afternoon.
Yes, baby, all of them. And the watch - it’ll get in the way.”

 

Bitchy on being an insecure dom

http://bitchyjones.wordpress.com/2007/02/27/yikes-male-doms/

“I think doms are supposed to exude a kind of poise and inner calm. I mostly exude a kind of baffled insecurity.”

http://bitchyjones.wordpress.com/2007/02/28/the-line-of-beauty/

“And anyone who thinks, ooh, you can’t be a dom and not be confident (this has been said to me more than once), can fuck *right* off. This is who I am. Didn’t ask to be like this, just got given it. So some bits of who I am contradict other bits – what do you want me to do about it?”

 

Bitchy Jones on handcuffs

http://bitchyjones.wordpress.com/2007/05/16/i-love-my-handcuffs-more-than-you/

And handcuffs are *meant* to be cruel. That is the point of them. This is why I hate handcuffs covered in fluff (quite aside from what they represent). If I was going to cover my handcuffs in anything I would cover then in industrial grade sandpaper.

First time I put the cuffs on Pan he screamed and made me take them off because they hurt his wrist bones.

Joy!

Oh my beloved beautiful cuffs – like an extension of me.

Anyway, we got them on again – on right and I got to do that thing.

What thing? Let me tell you.

I kind of envy male doms, in that they have the advantage of sheer physicality to subdue the sub. In fact when I see women tied up in mandom porn I often think, the huh, because if that Mr Sir was me I would just use my superior physical strength alone, bitch! Because that is so fucking hot. Struggle and fight and *force*. Yes.

And can I just say *force* again.

I like a lot of flavours. But one of the ones I like bestest oftenest is *resistance*, forced compliance, physical overwhelmsion.

Except I – obviously - can’t do physical force alone. I would lose. I would lose ten million times over and have to eat dirt the dirt - especially as I like them so super butch with shaved heads and tattoos and huge, *huge* biceps.

So I’m jealous. I’m jealous even though I like that femdom spins that dynamic around. And I love images of a big man kneeling for a slight little woman and nothing says submission to me like a guy holding out his wrists for the cuffs when he has arms like tree trunks that could smash me through the wall if he wanted to.

But spin or not, edginess or not, baseline is if you are a het dom man (with a willing partner) you can do that thing where you just hold the other person down and forcibly use their over-powered *body* to make yourself fucking come. And I am so fucking jealous of that. That is so beautiful and pure and brutal. I hate paraphernalia and equipment and *stuff*. I want to be able to dom like that. Just with *force*. Force! So fucking hot.

Well, that is what is so good about the rigid handcuffs.

I got the angle right – somehow, god knows it sure as hell wasn’t skill – and I got my weight in the right place. I’m a big girl, I have some weight to play with. All my weight on those cuffs meant I could hold his wrists down above his head with one hand.

There are not enough keys of this keyboard to fully express how happy this made me.

And I kissed him and hurt him just like that – making out I was domming him with just my superior strength until our mouths and minds went inside out.

My new cuffs. My love. My heart.

They are my oh-so-lovely, unnecessarily cruel, you-really-shouldn’t-leave-those-on-*too*-long-Bitchy “failed basic” Jones, extra-hard, extra-cold, extra-vicious sadistic bitch cuffs.

My rapist cuffs.

(There are a lot of cool articles about women having rape fantasies and what that means and how we should all feel about that. Now, one of these days, I’m going to draw you all a little closer around my campfire and tell you all about my *rapist* fantasies. But not today.)

I took the cuffs off so he could fuck me.

And, hey, pay attention, I like *him* to get on top to fuck. There is some big lie going around that dom women like to be on top. No we don’t. That is the stupid way around. Being on top means doing all the work. Er, no - you can do all the work thanks. You can support your body weight on your crampy arms and piston your pelvis, motherfucker, and put the effort in. No I do not want to jump on top and use your penis as a dildo while you just lie there, because…

Hey! What the fuck is the fucking point of that?

You’re not a dildo. You’re a fucking fucking machine, baby.

Do your job.
That’s when I took them off. When I had to. When I wanted him to fuck me.

{omfg. I love her. Love. Her.}