I’m a twenty-something, American, female-bodied person. The tagline really says everything else that’s important. This is a fat, kinky, poly, pagan, genderbending, queer blog. Pretty descriptive, yes? But I’ll expand on it a bit.
Fat. I am not one of those chicks who weighs 120 lbs and complains about how fat they are. About 90% of the time, I am the biggest person in any given room. I’m ok with that, generally. But being as how there are so many negative associations and stereotypes about fat people, it tends to be a touchy subject for me because I think that stuff is a load of shit that’s poisoning millions of people. So many people let the media tell them how they should look and even who they want to fuck. Do me a favor and try not to be a sheep like that.
Kinky. I am a sadomasochist who enjoys power exchange. To put it in small words, I like to do kinky things to people, such as hurting them (and sometimes be hurt by them) for fun and pleasure, and I like it when one of us (usually me ^_^) takes a role of power over the other. That’s an oversimplification of course. But to go into more detail would be a whole blog post of its own.
Poly. I have more than one intimate relationship. My girlfriend, MJ, has lived with me for two years. She’s a “romantic” partner, for lack of a better word. Somehow we manage to have a more-than-platonic but mostly less-than-sexual, usually loving relationship.
I also have a bdsm play partner who I refer to in this blog as Derek. He and I do not have a romantic relationship. I tie him up and torment him and make him feel helpless and owned. It’s all done with mutual respect and a healthy measure of affection, but after the ropes come off there’s none of the mushy complicated “relationship” stuff - we don’t see each other socially, or in any context but kinky play.
And then there’s Xel. At this point, I’m not sure what our relationship is or will be. I’d like to think he will be a long-term long-distance sexual/romantic/kink partner. But we’ll see.
Pagan. I haven’t written much about this subject, because this is mostly a sex/relationship blog. But it’s an important descriptor and influences every part of my life.
Firstly , I want to say that I am not Wiccan, which is the first thing non-pagans ask when I use the word pagan to describe myself. I don’t adhere to any particular religious tradition. I believe that there is divinity in every naturally-occuring thing, that deity has many faces, the universe is made of energy, and I believe in the power of positive thinking and focused intent. There’s more to it than that of course, but this is just the quick&dirty.
Genderbending. Again, I could write whole blog posts just exploring the subject of gender and how I feel about it, but basically I believe that binary gender is mostly a social contruct. It can be fun to play around with though.
Queer. Oh, just read the wiki page. Especially this part:
Because of the context in which it was reclaimed, queer has sociopolitical connotations, and is often preferred by those who are activists, by those who strongly reject traditional gender identities, by those who reject distinct sexual identities such as gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight, and by those who see themselves as oppressed by the heteronormativity of the larger culture. In this usage it retains the historical connotation of “outside the bounds of normal society” and can be construed as “breaking the rules for sex and gender.” It can be preferred because of its ambiguity, which allows “queer” identifying people to avoid the sometimes strict boundaries that surround other labels. In this context, “queer” is not a synonym for LGBT as it creates a space for “queer” heterosexuals as well as “non-queer” (”straight-acting”) homosexuals.
For some queer-identified people, part of the point of the term ‘queer’ is that it simultaneously builds up and tears down boundaries of identity. For instance, among genderqueer people, who do not solidly identify with one particular gender, once solid gender roles have been torn down, it becomes difficult to situate sexual identity. For some people, the non-specificity of the term is liberating. Queerness becomes a way to simultaneously make a political move against heteronormativity while simultaneously refusing to engage in traditional essentialist identity politics.
