I know I bitch about it all the time, but today I’m just so tired of the constant up and down drama with MJ.  We actually had a fight last night about cookies of all things.  She can be such a passive-aggresive snarky bitch sometimes.  And I’m tired of it.  I’m tired of her being judgemental - about my weight (even though she’s with me specifically because I’m fat) and my messiness (I have too much stuff and no storage space in this house) and my finances (I have some debt, but less than most people my age), while she feels all holier-than-thou and spends every waking hour playing video games.

Sometimes I feel that we’re irrevokably tied together.  Today the idea is incredibly depressing.

Maybe I’m still PMSIng or reacting badly to stress and not getting enough sleep, and I’m definitely feeling a little queasy about Xel, but I just feel kind of ill in spirit as well as body, and would really like to be in a relationship that gives me more joy than stomach upset.  Is it that hard for people to give a little bit back?  I would bend over backwards and do a million things just to make them happy, if one of my partners would just make some effort to show that they give a shit, and do something just to make me happy too.