…sometimes almost magic…

Well, talked to MJ Thursday night about the unpleasantness on Wednesday.  I hate getting into confrontations, but it went well.  We had a very mild-mannered conversation about everything, which ended with hugs and kisses, an apology from her, and boundaries being set about sexual activities. 

Hooray for adult relationships.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I think I might try and get her to let me tie her to the bed tomorrow…  Which for some reason makes me think of photographs.  We’ve talked about taking some Suicide Girl/nofauxxx type pictures.  I so wish we had a good place to do that.  It’s a good motivation to clean the bedroom I suppose. 

Yesterday evening was intensely bizarre. 

While I was on the computer after work and MJ was still at her job, the phone rang.  It was a young guy with an Irish accent, looking for MJ.  He said she gave him the phone number that morning and he claimed to be “the reason she was late for work. ”  Turns out they met in her fetish chat room.  He was charming though, and we chatted for about a half an hour until MJ came home. 

He was surprised to learn that she was not single.  Which was not charming.

When MJ came in the door, I teased her and gave her the phone.  She talked to him for three hours.  For a large chunk of that time she was in the bedroom, with the lights off and the door mostly shut.  She called me in at one point because Irishboy had had to hang up for a few minutes.  She was naked under the covers and said, “Have sex with me!  I’m horny, I want to have sex with you!”  She was very cute, but, “You don’t want to have sex with me.  You’re just horny because of that guy.  You do realize there’s a difference, right?”  She scoffed and pulled me under the covers with her.  We kissed, and I fondled her breasts, and then the phone rang.  Irishboy was back.  I continued to caress her while she talked to him, but after a few minutes, he requested that she “find some privacy.”  I bowed out gracefully, which I’m not sure how I feel about now.

At 10pm, I pounced on her and told her that I wanted at least a little bit of her time before bed.  There was a bottle of lube on my pillow.  She did get off the phone with a smile, but then she just wanted to have sex.  I really couldn’t have been less aroused if I’d been at a funeral, so we snuggled and kissed for a bit before I started to get sleepy.  She got up and went into the computer room.  I knew she was going to jerk off, and I felt weird and icky about it, but I didn’t say anything until she came back to bed an hour later, in a different set of pajamas because the others had gotten messy.  

 We usually sleep tangled up in each other, but last night we barely even touched, which is quite a feat in a bed that size. 

We had this conversation on instant messenger the day after I wrote the entry entitled “Business or Pleasure?” 

Derek: was reading your blog
Derek: was confused by your latest post
me: yeah I kinda thought you would be.
Derek: sigh hoping things arent bad for you
me: not at all
Derek: can you explain more then
Derek: sorry just confused
Derek: “Bdsm seems almost pointless to me, without the context of a relationship to give it meaning.”
Derek: just trying to see does it feel pointless when you look at our play
me: no
me: meh, I should delete that post or something
Derek: no not at all
Derek: just trying to make sense of it
me: being with you doesn’t feel pointless.
me: I’m not sure I can explain this well.
Derek: this is what i think you meant but maybe i am wrong
Derek: that in some cases
Derek: the sub will dicate to the Dom
Derek: they play and bam it is over
Derek: more like a pro Domme type thing
me: yes, that’s part of it.
Derek: where it is almost all business
me: yes
Derek: but for us we do see each other as people
me: yes!
Derek: i guess just in reading the post that wasnt completely clear when i read it
Derek: just was confused
me: I know, I almost didn’t post it.
Derek: i think it is a good thing to convey
Derek: but something is lost in translation is all

I got out of the scene a couple of years ago, because the parties I was attending and the scenes I was doing all seemed so shallow, and none of it was satisfying, none of it felt really good.  Certainly none of it was arousing in any way.

I remember one party, where I saw a man domming a woman who was tied down to a table and blindfolded, and he was caning her.  But 75% of the time, his eyes were roaming around the room, watching other scenes and women’s asses.  While he was bouncing the cane on her thighs.  I wonder if she had any idea.

MJ and I had sex last night and this morning, for the first time in.. I honestly can’t remember how long. 

I am tired and don’t even really know what to say about it except that she said she could feel her orgasm in her toes.  I feel all silly smug, like I’m the one who caused it, when really I was on my back and she was doing most of the work.  Though I was whispering in her ear, pushing her favorite buttons.

Of course, the real reason she had a great orgasm is because the condom slipped off inside me at some point, so she was riding bareback.  I really need to start using female condoms when I’m with her.